Thursday, August 02, 2007

Star Jones Comes Clean

Shortly before Star Jones was fired from the boring morning show, The View, she went from looking like the Kingpin in drag (above) to...


It was as if Star Jones had contracted Nicole Richie Disease.

But Jones was aloof as to how she specifically managed to lose her excess cellulite and practically denied that she underwent gastric bypass surgery.

Now, to the lack of everyone's surprise, Star has admitted that doctors stapled smaller one of her bovine-like stomachs.

"Yet talking about my weight loss finally gave me the control I'd hungered for."

Based on the above photo, I don't think it was "control" Star was really hungering for.

Why did Star wait so long to relay to the public the obvious?

That's almost like Michael Jackson taking 2 years to admit that he's really a white man. Wait...maybe he's....or is he...?

I might have just confused myself... again. >XP


Nicole Richie is Preggers

Nicole Richie got herself knocked up, just so that she wouldn't have to spend as much time in the slammer as her friend Paris Hilton did. Who's the real father of her bastard child? That's a question that would be best answered by the Maury Povich Show.

Nicole Richie barely eats enough for one, much less for two.

Child protectioin agencies should take away Richie's fetus and give it to someone who has proven she is capable of bringing it to full term, such as, future Mom of the Year, Britney Spears.


Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Vick Co-Defendant Pleads Guilty

Atlanta Falcon quarterback, Michael Vick, has been indicted with federal dog fighting charges.

As it turns out, one of the four arrested on that unfaithful night has possibly reached a plea bargain deal with authorities.

This is Vick's best friend and co-defendant, Petey the Pitbull.

Being terribly scared that he would have to constantly assume this position in prison, Petey agreed to testify against his owner/best bud in the whole wide world, Michael Vick.

In exchange, Petey was promised a year supply of this:

In addition, Petey also made an odd request for one of the following:

Don't judge Petey.


Sunday, July 29, 2007

I've Seen NEXT

Next is a movie about a man, Nicolas Cage, who can see two minutes into his own future. The FBI want his clairvoyant abilities to help them find a nuclear bomb that is expected to go off somewhere in California.

Nick finds out that, for some unknown reason, he can see further than a mere two minutes into the future through Jessica Biel's character.

I liked it! It's definitely worth renting. The premise for the plot is quite intriguing.

My only problem with the movie was it's cheap, campy looking special effects. It was visibly obvious whenever special effects were used in a scene. In my view, I shouldn't be able to notice when CGI is coming into play in an action sequence. Otherwise it was well acted and entertaining.

Bruce Willis would have also been a very nice choice to play Cage's character. Then perhaps producers would have had enough money left over to buy quality special effects.