Wednesday, April 02, 2008

A Sober Paris Stumbles & Falls

Paris Hilton greeting a guest at her family's newest HOtel in Prague.


This Redneck Shall be CAPTIONED!

Michael Bolton has become embittered from the world's rejection of his "body of work".

An Iraqi insurgent holding his penis hostage.

Before he became famous, Danny DeVito may have had some photos taken of himself that he is no longer proud of.

An unkempt Jason Alexander is fully prepared for any anti-semitic remark Michael Richards might make.

Gallagher's next magic trick: Making his package disappear.

This dirty dude proudly flaunts the fermunda cheese he has accumulated around his crotch.

Jaime's got a gun...and is about to shoot his load.

The impotent porn star, Rambone, tries his best to scare his junk into performing.

An angry man threatens to blow his groin away unless the cops bring him more urban porn magazines.


Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Ladies Man

It would seem that Art Price Jr. , a professional patio furniture fornicator, raped a table.

Now normally I wouldn't be insensitive enough to reveal the victim's identity, but I feel that it's in the best interest of exploited patio furniture everywhere that I display her picture. So, without further ado...

"She's got legs, she knows how to use them..."


The Future Miss England?

Silver Medalist in the Plump Olympics

17-year-old Chloe "marshmallow" Marshall accidentally entered the Miss England contest instead of the International Federation of Competitive Eating . She must have mistaken the word "pageant" for "pregnant".

Contestants work hard to maintain their slim, taut bodies. Does Miss Marshall think she can just waltz (waddle) in and take first prize? Last time I checked there wasn't a "Nicest Personality" category that Chloe would be a shoo-in for.

Speaking of "shoo", it looks as if Miss Marshmallow might require the assistance of an oversized shoehorn to slip into any form fitting evening gown...unless it was a moo moo.