Friday, November 21, 2008

Ashlee Simpson Gives Birth

"My crotch won't stop making bubbles."

In honor of the birth of her son, Bronx, Ashlee Simpson is releasing an album called "Lullabies You Can Lip Synch To".

A sad rumor also has it that poor baby Bronx was born without a larynx. But all is not lost, because as soon as Bronx can stand he will be a backup singer for mommy's band.


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Clown & Jedi Knight CAPTIONED

Ronald McDonald and Darth Vader have finally come out of the closet.

"Is that your light saber or you just happy to see me?"

RON: "Vader's pet name for me is 'Big Mac'."

Looks like Vader has taken a liking to eating McDonald's "Big Mac".

Ronald gushes that Darth Vader is 7 months pregnant with their love child.

Vader is disappointed that their first date took place at McDonald's.

RON: "When Darth puts his mask on, it makes me McHorny."

Barack Obama and Bill Clinton at Hillary's Halloween party.

RON: "Darth didn't have to use any 'force' to rape me."



My title suggestion of 'James Bondage: Search for Dirty Love' was outright rejected.

Continuing where Casino Royale left off, Quantum of Solace is about James Bond seeking retribution on the one responsible for the love of his life being killed.

Unlike Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace employed less emphasis on the quality of the story and focused more on the action sequences.
Also, for a movie about revenge Agent 007 seemed somewhat disappointingly subdued. Considering the circumstances, this new Daniel Craig version of Bond ought to have been more intense, cruel, and devious.

The female characters in the film were forgettable. I didn't care for them at all. If they tragically died, I would've just shrugged my shoulders and hoped for a more interesting girl to take her place. Gemma Arterton's appearance in the film, as the "errand girl", was basically the length of a cameo. I actually laughed at the way Strawberry Fields met her ridiculous demise.

It seemed to me that the main star of Quantum of Solace was the action scenes and James Bond served as its laconic sidekick. Residing in a small town, the theaters I have access to possess the sound and resolution of my grandmother's cathode ray tube television set she bought back in the early 1980's. So I strongly suggest that you watch this flick on an Imax screen on cheap Tuesday or rent it on DVD.