Newborn Baby CAPTIONED!

BABY: "Jealous?"

BABY: "I wouldn't hold it against you if you kidnapped me."

BABY: "Don't mind me. I'm just enjoying the view."

BABY: "My back was out. That's why I"m laying on the floor."

BABY: "Mommy is using her phone to look up the meaning of motherhood."

BABY: "What? Haven't you ever seen a baby perform yoga in an airport before?"

BABY: "Don't look at me like that. I don't need your goddamn pity!"

BABY: "Mom is trying to figure out the going rate for an infant on the Dark Web."

BABY: "I'll trade you my blankey for those cool sunglasses."

BABY: "Hey, baby. Got milk?"

BABY: "Mommy's on Tinder trying to figure out who's my daddy."

BABY: "Why are you looking at me as if I shit my pants?"

BABY: "Good thing I brought my libarary card because I'm totally checking you out."

BABY: "Don't worry. Mom is phoning the Child Protection Agency on herself."

BABY: "Haven't I seen you before? Yeah, I remember now. OnlyFans."

BABY: "Mommy sold my stroller so that she could fly Business Class."

BABY: "Go ahead and feel my diaper. It's made of boyfriend material. *wink*"

BABY: "You know what we have in common? We both aren't wearing panties."