Saturday, December 22, 2007


"Anyone need their windows cleaned or tires filled?"

Based on the title, I thought this movie took place in the not so distant future. During a time where the powers that be have passed a law to eradicate male senior citizens for doing nothing more than burdening society by wasting our oh-so-precious oxygen with their incessant flatulence. I could not have been more wrong. It's about a hunter that finds some drug money in the middle of the desert and when he makes one extremely foolish mistake, he has everyone involved trying their best to recover their loot.

Personally, I don't understand all the hype for this flick. Is it good? Yes. Is it better than Sophia Coppola's Lost in Translation? Even though I asked it, I refuse to dignify that question with an answer. Leather faced Tommy Lee Jones may be the star of this film, but Javier Bardem stole the show. Without Bardem's acting in this production, you don't have a good movie. You'd just have a Jessica Simpson (aka- straight to video) .


Caption Time!

I dedicate this caption to Kiefer Sutherland and to all the celebrities of 2007 who chose to put innocent lives at risk by drinking and driving.

This vertically challenged Ewok has hit a whole new low.

Wicket REALLY likes the whiskey.

Lindsay Lohan's beverage tester.

The paparazzi accidentally stumbled upon Paris Hilton's missing kinkajou.

The aftermath of Bubbles the chimp breaking into Amy Winehouse's liquor cabinet.

The elusive chupacabra doing its best to blend in with its environment.

This young shit-faced sasquatch is slowly drowning in its own diarrhea.

Wicket made the mistake of trying to out party Kiefer Sutherland.

Robin Williams on a bender.


Friday, December 21, 2007

Topanga Booked for DUI

Girl meets Jail.

Hell, I'd be driven to the bottle too if I had no choice but to find employment on the Tyra Banks show.

You have my sympathies, girl friend. *triangle snaps*

If her lawyer is smart he'll say that she accidentally mixed her NutriSystem diet supplements with her TrimSpa pills.


Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Lynne Spears Book Delayed

Britney Spears' mom, Lynne, has recently penned a book about how to successfully raise kids that are in show business.

So far, her oldest daughter has gone through two marriages, lost full custody of her children, sleeps around with strangers, refuses to wear panties, loves to show off her c-section scar, had a stint in rehab, owned a restaurant that went bankrupt within a year, shaved all her hair off (on her head), and gets into car accidents. The younger daughter, Jaimie Lynn, is still considered jail bait and is already 3 months pregnant.

Maybe Lynne Spears should alter the subject manner to "How To Raise Bread Winning Breeder Kids to be Trailer Trash", and make it into a joke book.