Saturday, January 10, 2009

I've Seen DOUBT

"This movie is about me becoming People magazine's 'Sexiest Man Alive'.""

This story takes place in a church elementary school around 1964. It's about a nun that accuses a priest of molesting a young African American student. It stars Meryl Streep, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and the wonderfully sweet Amy Adams.

Although the premise is far from original, it was directed in such a way that I was left being unsure as to how the story would unfold. All the acting in this film was good. Although,
I was really hoping that Hoffman and Streep's characters were going overlook their vows and have horrifying love scenes take place around various blasphemous places within the confines of the church. To make things even more edgier, I'd have panda bears in the background to serve as silent, lecherous voyeurs. Aw yeeah.

This film is not worth going to see on the big silver screen for. Why? Because it's a church drama, for Christ's sake! However, I feel most won't regret renting it from their video store. If possible, view it with your local church official and see if, at any point, he starts to perspire profusely when he realizes that the subject matter hits much too close to home.


Friday, January 09, 2009

George W. Bush CAPTIONED!

"Let's talk turkey. Heh, heh. Gobble, gobble."

Contrary to popular belief, turkeys are not shy creatures.

"It's true! The early bird does get the worm."

Move over dove, the turkey is now the new bird of peace.

An avian FBI agent investigates the fowl smelling odor emanating from G.W.'s crotch.

"Now this is what I call 'Turkish Delight'."

"What? Chicken Lips here is earning her right to be exonerated."

"I hope you're taking notes, Laura."

Tom Turkey puts aside his pride and begins to negotiate his release.

A diplomat from Turkey demonstrates a sure-fire plan on how to achieve peace in the Middle East.

"I asked for a drink of Wild Turkey whiskey, not for a wild turkey to drink my dinky!"

"I'm going to keep this turkey and name her Deep Throat."