Saturday, February 07, 2009

Kobe Bryant: Role Model

Did you know that it's totally cool to rape a commoner if you're rich and famous? No?

Well, according to U.S. law it's one of the perks. Plus, you get paid an obscene amount of money to play air guitar for a kid's video game commercial. The benefits just go on and on. The only rule is that you can't get all Michael Vicky on dogs.


Friday, February 06, 2009


"Let's do what Indians do best. Let's make a baby."

This movie is about, Jamal, a Muslim Indian orphaned street kid, who defies the odds society has placed on him to become potentially successful by being a contestant on the game show, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. The whole purpose of the main character going on the game show is to hope that his missing childhood girlfriend, Latika, sees and tries to contact him. I was disappointed to realize that Regis Philbin was not in this picture. I very much wanted to see him riding an elephant, while donning a poorly wrapped turban.

The director's name is Danny Boyle. He has made films such as Trainspotting, and 28 Days Later. The style of direction is quite similar to The Usual Suspects, yet undeniably effective for the nicely paced storyline.

This film is basically a very tolerable chick flick. Despite that flaw against it, I still recommend seeing this movie at the theater for full price. See if you can get away with paying the entire fare with rupees.


Tuesday, February 03, 2009


David Frost looks displeased with Nixon's latest answer.

This third installment of the Underworld series is a prequel. It tells the tale (tail?) of Lucien, the original lycanthrope. Lucien is sick and tired of being enslaved to vampires, so, out of spite, Lucien impregnates his master's daughter. Needless to say, Viktor is none too pleased with the unsanctioned breeding.

The best part of this movie was Michael Sheen and Bill Nighy's acting. Nighy's Viktor character seems to just exude power, while I've never heard a more convincing scream of helpless anguish in a Hollywood movie than I did from Michael Sheen. It's just too bad that the storyline and direction didn't help the movie as much as the aforementioned performances did.

A cold hearted bitch, or a premenstrual Naomi Campbell?

For my taste, Underworld's version of werewolves lack cool ferociousness. Having said that, I still recommend renting Rise of the Lycans if you own a bright, big screen LCD TV, because this film is darker than Robert Downey Jr. was in Tropic Thunder.