Sunday, September 19, 2010


Canadian Olympic bobsled team.

Alpha and Omega is about wolves of different pack stature falling in love. It stars the voices of Justin Long, Hayden Panettiere, Christina Ricci, Danny Glover, and the late Dennis Hopper.

I cried during this film. Not because certain scenes were emotionally touching or that this was the last movie Dennis Hopper ever did, but because I accidentally stayed beyond the half hour limit to have my money refunded. To further add salt to the wound, I paid full price for 3-D. WHY THE HELL DID I DO THAT?!? The message I took away from this terrible flick is that all your problems can be solved by riding a rotten, hollowed out log down a hill. I'll for surely have to remember that next time the bank is demanding their mortgage payment.

This movie has mediocre animation, unimaginative direction, a predictable cliche storyline, no humor worth wasting your exhalations on, and the dialogue would have probably have been more entertaining had it been dubbed in a language I was totally unfamiliar with, say for example Sanskrit. As far as I'm concerned, all the voice actors got paid exceptionally well for participating in terrible work.

In conclusion, Alpha and Omega is not worth paying to see at the theater, nor buying or renting on DVD, and not even worth downloading illegally. In fact, if you see that title on a store shelf, you'd be better off breaking the disk in half. By doing this you would be saving an oblivious child from needlessly throwing away 88 minutes of valuable life and further lowering their IQ's. Yes, watching Alpha & Omega will have a similar effect to ingesting lead tainted products.