Thursday, May 08, 2008

Antarctic Assault

Recently, South African scientists observing animal behavior in the Antarctic region witnessed something extremely unusual. They believed that they were seeing a fur seal doing its best to kill a king penguin. The young male seal used its 250lbs bulk to pin the unsuspecting penguin face first to the ground. When on top of the bird, all that could be seen of the penguin was its wings frantically flapping against the sandy floor on either side of the seal's smothering belly. But death did not come quickly for the helpless bird.

The researchers soon realized that the fur seal wasn't trying to murder the penguin at all. The scientists saw that the seal was evidently aroused, and kept attempting to forcefully mate with the victimized penguin. This went on for 45 long minutes, until the fur seal just suddenly got up off the penguin and lumbered back into the ocean, without even bothering to exchange phone numbers.

A few months later...

"I shall call you... H.B. Penseal."


The confused chick below is scheduled for a Maury Povich paternity test taping later this month.

MAURY: " Puff Daddy is...NOT the father!"



Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Washroom Patron CAPTIONED

Piss Pilate's.

A more accurate method for testing illegal substances at the 2008 Olympics.

Singapore's punishment for spitting your gum out onto the bathroom floor.

A VERY dedicated plumber.

There's nothing like waking up to the aroma of fresh urinal cakes.

The Toilette Whisperer.

Whatever happened to the doctor that performed Roseanne Barr's vaginal rejuvenation surgery?

"Yum! Barry Bond's pee tastes like steroids!"

Steven Hawking's son walks a mile in his dad's shoes.

Mel Gibson's agent searching for his client's career.

Polish man was told this is where you bob for apples.

Timmy presumed the urinal cakes were edible.


Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Bitch Slap'n Batman

I love this picture.

It's a priceless piece of Americana that deserves to be framed and hung near my bathroom.

Besides, Robin has had this coming for a long time.


Sunday, May 04, 2008

Hey Sexy!

Nowadays, Mischa Barton makes a living promoting dairy products.

This ad says: "Cottage Cheese Does the Body GOOD!"

Looks like Mischa Barton's legs are imitating Cameron Diaz's face without makeup.