Saturday, March 13, 2010

Poor Corey Haim

At left, Haim as a teen and at right, uh...48?

Corey Haim used to be a drug addicted Hollywood actor. Now he's a dead drug addicted Hollywood actor.

The Haim family is requesting monetary donations in order to be able to afford to give Corey a decent funeral.

Are we supposed to feel sorry for an actor that made much better movies as a child than he ever did as an adult?

I'd feel much more comfortable donating cash to a homeless Haitian than to an obscure, selfish actor. Hell, I'd even prefer to give money to a Nigerian chain mail scam artist.

UPDATE: Corey Haim's best friend, Corey Feldman, was not invited to the funeral. I strongly suspect that Haim's mother asked Feldman for funeral financial help and was outright denied.

MRS. HAIM: "Do you think you could help out with Corey's funeral expenses?"
FELDMAN: "Are you kidding me? Corey still owed me $5 for his Viagra prescription addiction."
MRS. HAIM: "Are you serious?!?"
FELDMAN: "Here's what I will give you. It's my agent's number."
MRS. HAIM: "What am I supposed to do with this?"
FELDMAN: "Call him up, so you can negotiate my appearance fee for Corey's funeral."
MRS. HAIM: "You make me sick!"
FELDMAN: "No. Your cancer makes you sick.
MRS. HAIM: "Why you..."
FELDMAN: "Say, is there any chance you could loan me $5?"