Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Slyvia Browne is for REAL

Sylvia's dead on predictions concerning the fate of the 13 trapped Sago minors.

"I knew they were alive."

Mere minutes later...

"I just don't think that they are alive."

"I hate people who say something after the fact." - Sylvia Browne

Hey! Sylvia and I now have something in common!

This evil bitch has the audacity to start a money collecting cult loosely based on Christianity. Hmm, I am unable to recollect a single Bible story that has Jesus taking hard earned money from his followers. Yet prominent religious leaders, who claim to be of the "Christian faith", are always asking their audience for hand outs. Jesus helped people out of the goodness of his heart for free - Sylvia Browne charges a significant monetary sum for lying to grieving Americans.

Is Sylvia Browne really the Devil? She does have a face only a demon with cataracts could love.

I have a prediction for Sylvia Browne: She will die of health complications derived from smoke.

That could also include the smoke she continually blows up idiots' asses. Take care my fraudulent, opportunistic friend.


Eddie Murphy

The following picture is BEGGING to be captioned. So here we go!

Once again, Eddie Murphy becomes victimized by The Man.

Asked as to why the clown shot Eddie Murphy dead, the pasty-faced freak remorselessly replied to police that it was for making the movie Pluto Nash.

Out of all White Folk, clowns frighten Eddie Murphy the most.

Eddie Murphy is always on edge whenever the Ku Klux Clown is around.

EDDIE: "I hope that's your finger and that you're not just happy to see me!"

Eddie is fed up with people trying to pick his pockets clean.

This clown's innocent, friendly gesture caused Murphy to soil his white suit.

Eddie Murphy does his best to ignore his old car pool buddy, Fellatio the Clown.

CLOWN: "Kitchy-coo!"


Paris Hilton Makes Me Happy

Whoever took this picture deserves, at the very least, a Pulitzer Prize.

The emotion filled expression on the subject conjures a feeling of bliss to all who gaze upon it.

I'm serious. Whenever I feel sad or blue, I look at this picture and it immediately uplifts my spirits.

Doctors really ought to consider prescribing this picture of Paris instead of Prozac. That would be hot.


John Travolta in Hair Spray

John Travolta has undergone a dramatic transformation in his upcoming film, Hair Spray.

Whoops! My bad. That's not Mister Travolta.

This is. Work it, you sexy beast!


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The Classy Brooke Hogan

I want to take this opportunity to thank Brooke for putting the "Ho" back in Hogan.

I can just imagine her dad out in the audience, tearing off his Hulkamania t-shirt, and throwing it up on stage. Oops! I meant to say throwing up on stage.


Jessica Alba

I have searched long, far, and wide for an actor with superior skills to that of celebrated thespian, Jessica Alba.
Today I have found that talented someone.
BEHOLD! I present to thee...THE DRAMATIC MARMOT!