Saturday, May 02, 2009

Chris "Don't Call Me Charlie" Brown

"Crazy-ass bitch! I think your stupid face just broke my hand."

Chris Brown is a singer/"actor" who used to be romantically involved with fellow singer Rihanna. I say "used to be" because he sort of ruined that relationship when he repeatedly kissed Rihanna's face with his pommeling fist until she became unconscious and had to go to the hospital for eating one too many bad knuckle sandwiches.

This negative publicity stunt has pretty much ruined 19-year-old Chris Brown's career. But I say there's still a tiny sliver of hope for him in the spokesperson business. That's right. Brown can represent a huge tool company that would capitalize on his woman beating ways. And that company is:

This Christmas, drill the one you love with Black & Deck Her.


Friday, May 01, 2009


"Oww! Not on the first date, Rudd!"

I Love You, Man is a film about a groom who can't find a best man for his upcoming wedding because he realizes that he has no close male friends in his life. It stars Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. Rudd plays the uptight, responsible realtor who tries to befriend Segel, the laid back dude who pulls no punches when it comes to relaying the truth.

The story feels like a cross between The Odd Couple and The Cable Guy. Although not as funny as the latter, it still comes across as a mild comedy with good directional pacing for the storyline.

I recommend seeing this movie on cheap Tuesday at the theater, and wouldn't hesitate to consider this a very tolerable chick flick for guys.


Sunday, April 26, 2009

Screaming Bunny CAPTIONED!

"Check out my llama imitation."

Showing its dismay at learning a film sequel to Sex & The City will be made.

Bunny just learned that all his stocks & bonds are now worthless.

Bunny was just told that Lindsay Lohan is gay.

Bunny serenading Simon Cowell on American Idol.

This bunny can hiss and spit like cobra.

Bunny invited to televised cook show discovers he's the main course.

Bunny accidentally caught a whiff of its own carrot-y fart.

Bunny reacts to accidentally walking in on a naked Sandra Oh.

Expression of a bunny painfully urinating with gonorrhea.

Bunny finds out that his cash strapped family has sold his eyes to Revlon.