Saturday, October 04, 2008

Over Before it Started

Cowboy Ross is rendered unconscious by a bull, named Cadillac Man, before he even gets out of the gate.

This could have all been avoided, too. Cadillac Man had politely asked Cowboy Ross whether he could try on his spiffy black stetson, just to see how it would look on him. Cowboy Ross foolishly refused. Cadillac Man took offense and then went on the offensive by using Cowboy Ross' skull to play the xylophone upon the unforgiving steel pipe fence.

The last thing Cowboy Ross remembered was Cadillac Man mooing, "Hey, redneck...HEADS UP!"


Thursday, October 02, 2008

I've Seen COCAINE COWBOYS II: Hustlin' with the Godmother

Charles Cosby: Domesticated Gangsta

During the time Bill Cosby was being paid millions of dollars to play the role of Heathcliff Huxtable, Charles Cosby was a genuine drug lord making millions by selling crack cocaine within his community of Oakland, California.

This documentary is about the rise and fall of a young small time crack dealer, who eventually became a major distributor of illegal drugs to America with the help of a chance meeting with Colombian Queen Pin, Griselda Blanco, aka- The Godmother, aka- The Black Widow. Despite Blanco being more than 20 years Cosby's senior, the relationship with Griselda became physical. At that point, you could honestly say that Charles Cosby became a Godmother fucker.

At first, I wasn't going to watch this hour and a half long movie, but I found Charles Cosby's impressive story telling ability to be just as engaging as Morgan Freeman's narrative skills. Hell, I'll even rank Cosby up there with Charlie Murphy, from The Chappelle Show.

I found this film worthwhile and interesting. It felt like I was watching quality reality TV (<--oxymoron?). If you wish to preview the first 10 minutes of this movie, you can do so HERE .


Wednesday, October 01, 2008


It's true! Humans, too, can get Mad Cow Disease.

"I made this costume out of a rubber glove and a soiled moo-moo."

POLICE OFFICER: "Let me guess. It's laundry day?"

Gary Coleman was arrested for trying to sell curdled chocolate milk.

Star Jones busted for streaking in public.

Charged with resisting arrest and squirting milk into an officer's eye.

She was finally caught by the Burger King bounty hunter.

Fat Albert sporting his new line of pajamas.


Lil' Bill O'Reilly

"Your dirty sex makes God send hurricanes."

I wonder how Bill O'Reilly feels about a little girl accurately portraying himself?


Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Crawfords

It seems inevitable that Cindy Crawford's daughter will eventually arrive at the realization that her brother is much more prettier than she is...and that her dad is cheating on mom with their nanny.


Pig Piss Medical Breakthrough

Why can I foresee sexually inadequate males around the world abusing this technology to make their penises larger? Because I'm a dick, that's why.

"Caw mree Wong Dong no mo. Mah noo name eez now Mr. Long Dong."

Crazy women will be lopping off their breasts in hopes of the magical powder regrowing them a few cup sizes bigger.

"Damn straight my 'soccer balls' are 'natural'. "