Kimbo Slice's Next Opponent

Welcome to Brazilian divorce court. Winner gets the house & kids.

This is why I'm such a big fan of the growing sport of Mixed Martial Arts. Anybody on any given day can win, no matter what your experience, size, or stature.

That girl could rip Kimbo Slice a new vagina.

Bimbo Slice

"Be gentle. And try not to hit my face."

Kimbo Slice is a former bare knuckle fighter who gained fame on the internet with his street fighting videos.

The people he fought on the street were average thugs. Now he's become a professional Mixed Martial Artist with EliteXC. In fact, Slice is the main star attraction for that company. The only problem is that all Kimbo is good at is punching. There's nothing really mixed about what he brings into the ring.

That was apparent when Slice lost yesterday to a virtually unknown ex-UFC fighter, named Seth "The Silverback" Petruzelli. Once the bell rung, 14 seconds later Kimbo's bell got rung. He was knocked out by what looked to be a short, reletively harmless jab to the forehead.

I've seen prostitutes take worse beatings from their pimps than what Seth delivered to Slice. Kimbo would be much better off fighting preschoolers for their lunch money.