Lindsay Lohan Has Apendectomy

According to her publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, Lindsay Lohan has had emergency surgery to have her appendix removed.

Like I'm going to believe that load of hooey. What's next? Christopher Columbus rising from the dead to discover Kevin Federline's talent? I'm never going to believe what her publicist says ever again. When Zelnick said Ms. Lohan's breasts were indeed "real", she lost whatever shred of credibility she had left.

Let's face it, this is a girl who controls her asthma attacks by sucking on cigarettes instead of inhalers.

Here are my two unfounded theories:

1) She became pregnant, narrowed the baby's daddy down to 12 different people, and then decided to undergo a secret abortion.

2) Lindsay's saline filled boobies started to sag like rock filled socks and required emergency uplifting.


Whatever happened to that sweet innocent girl that starred in Disney's Parent Trap movie?

Will Dakota Fanning suffer a similar fate of Lindsay's wild child ways? It's kind of doubtful since Dakota seems to have a better, more stable set of parents. The kind of parents that would not feel at home living in a rundown trailer park.