Lindsay Lohan = Lush

REPORTER: "You just got out of rehab - what's the first thing you going to do?"

LINDSAY: "Coke. I mean Coca-Cola ads."



Lindsay Lohan spends additional time going through rehab and she still relapses. She was recently caught by police drunk and in possession of cocaine (Lindsay must have a cavity search fetish).

What does that say about where she received her treatment? Promises. Yeah, right. They promise to take your money and promise to go to Hawaii with it.

I would think that the judge presiding over Lohan's case will have to make an example out of Lindsay, because too many celebrities in Hollywood seem to think that they are immune to intoxication when they get behind the wheel.

How many innocent deaths or avoidable tragedies have to occur in order for the authorities to do their damn jobs? It shouldn't matter if they're celebrities. It's not like they do important work. Sure some perform at charities for a nominal fee, with the expectation of expensive complimentary swag, and then have their accountants tax deduct their time and expenses for it.

Soldiers overseas put their lives on the line each and every day, yet 999 out of a 1000 civilians would rather compliment and congratulate an actor than a war hero. "Ooo. It must take a lot of courage to memorize your lines and get paid a ridiculous amount of money for it." You're welcome to try and figure that one out.


The following pic is beckoning for me to caption it!



After being labeled a "Junkie", Lindsay is checking to see if the shoe fits.

Lindsay is milking herself for a new beverage called Freckle Juice.

"Dammit! My secret stash of cocaine is stuck inside my shoe."

For her stint in prison, Lindsay is practicing bending over while not dropping anything.

Lindsay is wondering if all the prison guards will look like Rosie O'Donnell.