Jerry O'Connell Gets Married

"I'll Take that one."

Gerry O'Connell (center) is not choosing what cream filled pastry to stuff into his cavernous pie-hole, but looking into the distant future and declaring to the group that his wife, one day, will be none other than...




...Rebecca Romijn.

Like, what the FUH?!?!?

You mean to tell me that the fat kid from the movie Stand by Me landed one of the HOTTEST women ever to cat walk upon the face of this planet? What are the astronomical odds of that???


Like, come on! LOOK AT HER!! What does she see in that former fatty?

Now Jerry O'Connell is going to do his best to try and wreck Becca's bodacious body by knocking her up with a baby. And it's probably for no other reason than to spite me!

We, as a nation, need to pull together and impede O'Connell from planting his evil seed into the ravishing Rebecca at all costs. I would like to take this opportunity to implore President George W. Bush to recall all the troops from Iraq and to refocus our efforts on stopping Jerry from destroying perfection.

I'm certain that's a cause even bleeding Democrats can support.

WHO'S WITH ME!!!

No one?

Well to Hell with you then! I'll become an army of one. My code name shall be: Son of a Gun.