Gordon Sumner Shall be CAPTIONED!

Coming out of the bathroom stall next to Larry Craig, Sting can't help but feel dirty.

"Yikes! That stings!"

Sting's reaction after accidentally walking in on Dame Edna in a state of undress.

"Don't stand so close to me. I just cut the cheese."

Sting has a flashback about having sex with his wife.

Sting attempts to fool the paparazzi by acting like a Special Olympian.

Sting has just been told what the price of his Police concert tickets are selling for.

It would seem that Sting is in dire need of a face lift.

Sting exits a brothel after having had a stroke.

Sting after seeing Britney Spears' performance at the MTV award show.