Jackie Chan Looking for Successor

Jackie Chan will be on a show that will attempt to discover an actor who has the cahones to take over his role as the bravest (foolish?) action star this world has ever known.

This someone has to be not afraid of death. For that characteristic alone, I hereby nominate...



OWEN WILSON.

No, seriously. Think about it. Wilson has worked with Jackie Chan before and knows him far better than Chris Tucker knows his banker.

Just like Chan, Wilson haucks loogies into the face of death. Owen has tried to kill himself on three different occasions, and yet he still continues to draw breath! Wilson is just like that cheerleader on the TV show Heroes.


Or maybe Hayden Panettiere can be the next uber action hero...or porn star? Does Hayden have a scandalous sex tape the pubic - er - I mean public ought to know about?