Natasha Lyonne Isn't Doing So Well On Her Own


Remember her? She played Jessica in the American Pie movies. Supposedly, she's now addicted to crack. No, not ass-crack. The kind you buy in little baggies off of suppliers named Mookie or Cracker Jack Jones.


Ms. Lyonne recently had to appear in court for breaking down a neighbor's door and threatening to molest her dog. I must say that is indeed a unique greeting. "Hello. How are you doing?" is a phrase that is so passé.

Lyonne's expression in the picture below reveals that she's contemplating whether or not she ought to swallow the sour spunk of that back alley homeless dude she blew for a $5 uncertified check. If I was a casting agent, I'd only hire her for the straight-to-video jacket cover of Coyote Ugly 2.


Oh, how far she's have fallen. Mind you, she was never all that high up to begin with. It just seemed that way when tweaked.