Thursday, December 07, 2006

The Secret Life of Chewbacca

Did you know that Chewbacca from Star Wars was a family man? (I have video proof of my claim at the bottom of this post.)

Apparently, he has a wife named Nala. That name is normal sounding enough. His son's name is Lumpy and his scraggly, toothless dad's name is Itchy. What the hell possessed a galactic hero to name his son Lumpy?!? I'm suspecting that Itchy had a strong say in the matter. And where did the name "Itchy" come from? He must have earned that moniker from years of keeping himself unkempt. Fleas and lice can be a bitch...or so I hear. *scratch* *scratch*


Is it me, or does Itchy have more than a striking resemblance to Pai Mei from Kill Bill:Vol. 2?


He looks worried here.
Almost as if he's afraid of telling you that he "accidentally" took a large dump in the middle of your brand new carpet.

Chewbacca's illegitimate love child.

This offspring was the result of Chewy getting romantically involved with a Shih Tzu in heat at an S.P.C.A. fundraiser.
No need for paternity testing here.

For those curious ( and sick in the head ) here's the mother.

What Wookie could resist that super fine piece of ass?

The clip is kind of boring, due to the fact that it has NO subtitles. Where's Han Solo when you need a translator? For some inexplicable reason, I found the Cirque du Solei act at the end disturbingly creepy. *shudders*



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