Britney Spears NEEDS Wonder Bra Sponsorship


Must be close to a defcon 1 alert because Britney is ready to launch her misshapen torpedo tits. What a patriot. Er, I mean idiot.

Isn't this dangerous? I mean what if Mrs.Spears spontaneously lactates on the ground before her bare hillbilly feet, while carrying her two doomed-to-fail-at-life babies? I hear that spilt milk is much more slippery than an oil slick and over ripe banana peels combined.

What I don't understand is why haven't the authorities arrested Britney Spears for the numerous counts of indecent exposure she has already committed?

Does this mean I, too, can walk around Hollywood and flash my naughty bits to whomever I please? If that is indeed the case, then what the hell am I doing here writing this stupid post? I've got some serious flashing to catch up on! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!