Santa Clause CAPTIONED!

"Is this some sort of sick joke?"

"Ho-ho-ho! Who's laughing now, klutz?"

Out of nowhere, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer trampled lil' Suzie to death.

"What can I say? That tiny bitch got what she deserved."

"That little bastard better not leave blood stains on my new carpet."

"Despite what you think, Santa can't make the dead come back to life."



"Let me guess what this little girl wants for Christmas. A casket."

The stench of Aqua Velva and stale urine was too much for little Suzie.

"All she wanted for Christmas was her two front teeth...so I punched her in the mouth."

"Oh, great. First the dead hooker in my motel room and now THIS!"

"I'm sticking to my original story, officer. She fell off my lap."

"That mouthy little whore was asking for it, officer, and Santa delivered."

"Erection? What erection, officer?"