Oprah's Dad Tells All

Oprah's father, Vernon Winfrey, is writing a book about Oprah supposedly titled "Things Unspoken".

And the kicker is that Vernon was doing his best to keep it a secret from his billionaire daughter.

Vernon better watch out what he says in that book because Oprah can have him killed and have it made to look like an accident - even if the coroners found Vernon's death to be a result of a freak lightning strike. As sure as Paris Hilton's visit in jail will result in a nasty collection of more venereal diseases, you can be certain that Oprah would have had a say in where that bolt of deadly plasma struck.

Instead of the bronze bust of her dad being on Ms. Winfrey's desk, Vernon could find his real life head hanging on a wall, like a hunting trophy, in Oprah's office. It would be a powerful message to others that were thinking of betraying Oprah's trust. You best be watching your back, Gail.

This literary achievement should be a shoe-in to make it onto Oprah's book club list of recommendation.