I Saw GRINDHOUSE

Tammy Faye Baker was the makeup artist for this poster.

Despite what you may have initially thought, Grindhouse is not a coffee company affiliated with Maxwell House.

It's a film that consists of two movies (Planet Terror & Death Proof) , with two directors, and numerous trailers to flicks that don't exist.

The best trailer was Machete. It was about a Mexican, played by Danni Trejo, who got pissed off and then started wreaking havoc upon those who beat him up and left him for dead. The thing that really made Machete angry wasn't the massive beating he received, but the less than poor treatment he got at the hospital for being an illegal immigrant with no medical insurance. That's what pushed Machete over the edge.


He's one bad-ass Mexican.

I can't understand how Grindhouse tanked so badly at the box office. I wouldn't have believed it possible for Are We Finished Yet to out perform this entertaining movie.


This picture from Planet Terror reminds me of my childhood dog, named Lassie. How I wished that dog could also piss bullets when she just sat there and watched as I was being pummelled by a gang of bullies. When my assailants' arms finally got tired of throwing punches at me, I realized Lassie was nothing at all like the Golden Retriever she was named after on those TV reruns. The next day Lassie and I went to the local zoo. That's when I hoisted Lassie up by the collar and flung her over the protective fence, down into the Siberian tiger exhibit. I made sure this all happened just before feeding time. I can still remember Lassie looking up at me with those adorable saucer-like eyes, as if she was silently asking me why I had apparently betrayed her. Bitch knew why.