Celebrity Diss

"Daddy, where do babies come from?"

What if pro golfer Tiger Woods' nick name for his daughter is "Sex Kitten"?



"From now on, I want to be referred as Ben Rapelessberger."

I wonder if Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback, Ben Rothlisberger, interprets the serious charge of sexual assault as "passionately raping"?



I wish I had Jesse's girls! Where can I find women like that?

If master motorcycle mechanic Jesse James' infamous deceased outlaw ancestor was to give him advice, it would be to keep his gun uncocked.



"Is it me, or is it really drafty today?"

I wonder what Lindsay Lohan does with her dirty panties? Does she wash them, set them aflame with her fire crotch, or is legally obligated to discard them into a HAZMAT bin?



The Gosselin who laid the golden eggs.

Kate Gosselin is so fridgid that her nieces and nephews refer to her as Aunt Arctica.



Whores can't help but find the scent of his bank account intoxicating.

The horridly homely Larry King has been married 8 times. To put that into perspective, that's more than Ryan Seacreast, Simon Cowell, Oprah Winfrey, Gerrard Butler, Robert Pattison, Daniel Radcliffe, Gabourey Sidibe, David Spade, Chole Moretz, and Ricky Martin combined.