I've Seen APPALOOSA

To clarify things Appaloosa is a movie, not a hippy festival headlined by the musical group Jane's Addiction. The plot has a rancher that uses his powerful friends to give himself immunity over the law and to have his way with the settlement of Appaloosa. The residents of that terrorized town get fed up and hire a marshal to keep the peace. It stars Viggo Mortensen, Jeremy Irons, Renee Zellweger, and Ed Harris, who also directs it.


"My marriage dissolved when Kenny Chesney refused to make love to me even during a full eclipse of the sun."

The story and direction was good, but the one issue I had with this film was the casting. Jeremy Irons, as the evil rancher, sounded too much like he was trying to emulate Daniel Day Lewis' character, Daniel Plainview, in There Will Be Blood. Then there was Renee Zellweger. I was unable to be convinced that she could be a promiscuous tart. To me, the funniest line in the movie was when Zellweger asked Mortensen's character, "Do you think I'm pretty?"

Although predictable, this movie is only worth watching at the theater on cheap Tuesdays or renting it when it comes out on video.


"No. Zellweger is not the German word for 'Sour Puss'. Why do you ask?"