I've Seen PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

Patiently awaiting Paris Hilton to complete their threesome.

Paranormal Activity is about a woman who has an unknown entity that follows and makes its presence known to her from time to time. Her boyfriend wants to document the occurrences caused by this phenomenon before enlisting the help of a priest to exercise her or a fireman to assist him in burning her at the stake. It stars nobody previously famous. It was filmed in the director's real life house for $15,000US. It has since grossed over $85 million in North America alone. The story was supposedly inspired by a box of laundry detergent that mysteriously fell off a secure shelf. Yee-ahh.

This film starts off interesting and somewhat riveting, with the boyfriend doing his best to emulate an amateur Ghost Buster. But then the unraveling process of the plot seems to go on much longer than it really should have. Despite feeling ripped off from this particular cinematic experience, I did take away an important message from it. And that lesson was: No average looking chick that comes with emotional or demonic baggage is worth the hassle, even if she is the proud owner of perky D-cups boobies.

Unless you enjoy endings that leave you severely disappointed (e.g.- Contact) then Paranormal Activity will be worth wasting your valuable time. If I didn't know any better, I'd think that the campaign manager responsible for George W. Bush's re-election, Karl Rove, was behind the marketing hype of this flick. In conclusion, I'd only rent this movie as a joke to play upon others by forcing them to watch it. That way I could savor their expressions of outrage at the fact that Paranormal Activity had involuntarily and irreparably stripped them of 82 precious minutes of nonrefundable life. That would be the only paranormal activity people would experience by choosing to watch this film.