Richard Quest Reporting Live from the Pokey

Richard Quest is a top ranking reporter for CNN. The other day, at 3:40 in the morning, Mr. Quest and a male companion were stopped by a police officer patrolling Central Park in New York. All over the area were signs stating that the park was closed between the hours of 1am and 6am. Richard must be a piss poor reporter because he stated to the officer that he was unaware of the park's curfew. When the cop performed a physically stimulating search on Mr. Quest he found a small bag of meth in his pocket, a sex toy in his boot, and a rope around his neck that was attached to his genitals. BUSTED!

If I was Richard Quest's lawyer, I'd say that the esteemed reporter was working undercover on a story that would have eventually blown the seamy roof off of the mysterious, yet enchanting, life of a homosexual male prostitute. Also known as: Project Boy Toy Story. Richard's code name would have been "Woody".

All is not totally lost if Richard is found guilty in a court of law, for he could change his name to Dick Quest and become a gay porn performer. Or he might take over for Dame Edna and call himself Dick the Queen.

No word on who Mr. Quest's companion was.


"Why does everyone refer to me as Anderson 'Up the Pooper' Cooper?"