Sunday, June 30, 2013

I've Seen This is the End

Gay porn version will be called This is the Rear End.

This is the End is about a group of celebrities coping with a Biblical Apocalypse while trapped within James Franco's Hollywood home.  It stars James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, Danny McBride, Jonah Hill, and Craig Robinson.

An interesting approach to This is the End was that everyone involved "played" themselves in the movie.  I say "played" because the only one who seemed not to be a caricature version of their true self was Seth Rogen.  The rest chose to alter or over exaggerate their true personas.  The best of which were James Franco and Danny McBride.  McBride portrayed himself as an overbearingly selfish, untrustable prick.  A standout amongst the cameos was Michael Cera.  In the film Cera depicted himself as a full blown cocaine addict.  To make the dynamic of the cast more interesting and entertaining, I would have removed Rogen and Baruchel completely out of the flick and replaced them with the desperately-in-need-of-an-intervention version of Michael Cera.  

A cameo that was completely wasted was Emma Watson's.  In the middle of the movie she left James Franco's house with only an axe, and that was the very last we saw of her.  Whereas all the males were cowering within a luxurious mansion, I would have shown Hermione throwing herself with reckless abandon, enthusiastically hacking and reveling at all the wicked beasts that had the misfortune of intruding upon her personal space.  

Honorable mention goes to Jonah Hill for defeating his affliction with anorexia. He has become his pleasantly plump self, once again, but there was a scene involving him that could have been vastly improved.  I'm talking about Jonah's rape scene.  I believe it would have been much more humorous if Mr. Hill's rape was more elaborate and even more extensive.  As a director, I would've had Jonah effeminately screaming incessantly, while having the Incubus maliciously state the line: "Hold still, fatty, so I can fill you with my sweet demon semen!"  The version of the film I saw was rated 18A, so why not unabashedly push the humor envelope?

Despite the terrific cast and numerous cameos (recording artist Rihanna being one of them) I felt This is the End was a disappointing let down.  Especially the terrible ending, which I'm going to reveal to avenge my extreme dissatisfaction with it.  Most of the protagonists are vacuumed up into Heaven.  As a result, it turns out you can make any wish and it will come true.  Jay Baruchel, of ALL things, wished to sing and dance with the Backstreet Boys.  First of all, why would anyone assume that the Backstreet Boys would be allowed into Heaven?  At the very least, they'd be waiting in Purgatory along with Susan Boyle and Miley Cyrus.  If it were me making a musical wish, it would have been Rihanna singing a duet with Chris Brown covering the Britney Spears song "Hit Me Baby One More Time".  Now that's a concert that would cause the angels to WEEP!



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